To The One I've Been Missing
by Flo0007
Summary: A letter with my memories by Lena Luthor-Danvers


I was 14 years old and Kara was 15 when we met for the first time. We both had traumatic pasts and according to our peers we were weird.

We bonded over our love for science and fiction books. Most of the time we were in the library reading or studying. We liked the silence, the peace and the other's company.

Kara was there to defend me when rumors spread through school about my sexuality. I was there when she needed me the most, on the anniversary of the fire she lost her parents to.

Our high school years went by slow and relatively uneventful. We spent most of it with the other. We were incredibly close, best friends as they say. In secret we both had a crush on the other that was unknowingly reciprocated.

-0-

I was 20 years old and Kara was 21 when we met again. After high school we went our seperate ways, Kara to Stanford with a scholarship and I went to MIT also with a full ride. We didn't have time to meet. We tried texting and calling, even tried FaceTime but it wasn't the same. Soon we lost touch.

I ran into something solid but soft at the same time. Turns out it was my once best friend, Kara Danvers. She was still beautiful but even more taller and much more assertive, not the bashful teenage girl I remembered. I almost didn't recognise her.

I reconnect with Kara then and there. The 3 years we spent apart was long and the opposite of our high school years. There were jobs and signaficant others to speak about. For the first time in a while we were completely at peace.

-0-

I was almost 21 and Kara was 22 when we went on our first date. Almost a year of being in each other's life again, our supressed feelings surfaced. Kara was tired of hiding them and her childhood taught her not to let the ones she loved the most slip away.

Kara was nervous declaring her love for me. She was afraid of losing her best friend, one of the most important person in her life. Alex advised her to be like Nike and „just do it". Sam was also encouraging.

I laughed the first time she tried to stutter through her confession and then proceeded to kiss the remainig breath out of her. She counted that as victory and it really was.

-0-

I was 25 and Kara was 26 when she asked me to marry her. The years leading up to this were magneficent. We were happier than ever before.

We travelled to Ireland for my birthday. We were walking around on a field filled with wildflowers similiar to what I remembered from my childhood. I felt my mother closer than ever before. I was just thinking of thanking Kara for her suggestion of coming here when I felt a tug on my hand that was entwined with hers. When I turned around I saw the love of my life on one knee holding up a ring.

Of course I said yes.

-0-

I was nearly 29 and Kara was 30 when we spent the night alone for the first time since we began dating.

We've been married for almost 4 years at that point. We were discussing having children, moving houses and where we wanted to raise the kids. The confusing thing is, neither of us knew when the argument began and what it was about. It started with her claiming I was staying too late at the office and continued with me voicing my opinion on Kara being gone too early.

I waited the whole evening for my wife to return. Kara didn't get home that night. Assuming she was staying at Alex's I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I didn't want to lose her, she was too important to me. I just had to show her that.

The next few days we talked things through. We assured the other of our love and came up with a plan for the next few years. Kids, a bigger house, a dog, growing old together. Our future was looking brighter and brighter.

-0-

I was nearly 29 and Kara was 30 when I had to organise a funeral for her.

The love of my life was gone. She was gone when we were just talking about having kids. One second she was shouting I love you after me when I left the house the next second I get a phone call asking me to ID her.

I never learned anything from my childhood as it turns out. I had my best friend, the love of my life, the hope for kids, a family that loved me for me. I was happier than ever. And then the first person to ever really love me left me. All alone just like when I was 14.

I cried for days. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I cried and drank hoping on erasing the happiest time of my life from my mind. It wasn't coming back, never ever will I be that happy again. She left me with nothing but good memories and dreams. No kids, no bigger house, no dog. Nothing just the memory of her smile and laugh. I pushed away Alex, Sam even Eliza.

The saddest thing is, we didn't even grow old together.

I'm sorry you had to waste your time on my pathetic life. I just wanted to show you my time with Kara through our most important moments.


End file.
